I’ll stop devaluing the elderly when they stop acting like entitled fucking pricks, and I’ll accept them when they stop being racist, sexist, homophobic, classist goddamned fucking throwback jackoffs.

I AM SO FUCKING INTRIGUED ABOUT JERRY RIGHT NOW

No, that makes you a good employee, but a bad marketing drone.

God, gin is fucking magic. Not good magic, bad magic. Like seeing a hottie from across the bar but you forgot your glasses and it’s dark, gin always smells so wonderful but tastes like fucking death.

Counter-counterpoint: he was MacReady in ‘The Thing’!

No... no. We’re all judging you.

A magical elixir that turns girls into sluts? Is.. is it.. tequila?

I’m a guy, and also 33, so I’m doubly out of fucking luck for that, but I was under the impression that the age thing was mostly because after a certain age it’s more or less assumed that yes you do have HPV it’s goddamned anywhere and you shouldn’t be touching other people’s peepees you filthy person you. But it…

Yeah... kinda. Basically fleas.. ticks.. parasites... they kill off the weak. That’s, uh, that’s their Useful Place. Get rid of them, and wildlife will survive to catch even worse things, and pass them on to other members of their species..

Hell I advise grown-ass adults to skip “I Spit On Your Grave”. It’s an important-ish movie, and it’s actually pretty well made, but fucking god damned if that isn’t one drawn-out horrific rape/murder scene. I mean.. it’s SUPPOSED to traumatise you for watching it, right? Still, goodgodno.

This chucklehead is 34. He was born in fucking ‘81, as was I. He’s a fucking chucklehead.

It’s an even worse idea before drinking.... even if it’s much earlier in the day. I’ve got a fucking awful year ahead of me thanks to forgetting I had taken tylenol 6 goddamned hours before I started drinking one night.

Beer I’m not too sure about... but whiskey and red wine are chock full of tannins. Do you get a similar reaction to a cup of tea? Or.. well maybe several? Just googled it and yeah, beer does contain tannins. They’re mostly absent from vodka and white wine, though (without me double-checking myself....). Also most rum…

WE DEMAND A STORY!

I really regret Obama not totally going all in and getting permissions to use “Born in the USA”.

typical Northeastern wannabe stereotypical redneck bigot, but with a strong accent.

Dogs are wary about new things, though. They’ll often be wary of anyone who looks, well, out of place. Could be black skin, could be a beard, and DEAR GOD be careful if you put a halloween mask on around a dog, had a husky who liked to pretend she didn’t know it was you under there and that you were an intruder...…

One day or a few days MIGHT make a difference.

Pingling? Penwing? Pengoon?