nooo... no no no. that’s just everyone else.

It really takes a lot to tip a car off a jack if you even make any effort to chock the opposite tire. I’ve had a tire stuck on and had to lay on my back and kick at a tire flat-footed to wiggle it back and forth enough to pull it off.. car did not fall, nor wobble. I replaced the rocks when I was finished :D

YES TO GILLIGAN HATS.

I “owned” a bench-seated Cadillac for about 2 weeks after a relative died.. but I was 16, and the insurance was something like 450 a month in late-90s dollars so we sold it. I still miss that car. A battleship in the streets AND in the sheets...

A brief search of practically ANY nearby area will provide you with at least 3 objects you can use to chock your tires so the car doesn’t slide around. A solid hunk of log, a decent-sized rock, ALL SORTS OF THINGS that are probably one of those two things

I was a weird kid, yes.

How old was she? ‘cause she sounds like a broke-ass early/mid 20s stoner. ‘cause that sounds like something I would’ve done back then. Like, look, at least she was up-front about not having a good tip, take care of other orders first ‘cause hers ain’t worth the first stop but the stomach demands munchies and she’s get…

He’s got a face that you WANT to want to punch, plus, you can’t help but think about the fact that he’d grab your ex on the rebound and convince her to have sex somewhere fairly uncomfortable, like the back seat of a volkswagon.

My gut says you’re right. Bears generally don’t tangle with large prey, honestly. They can, and will, but a big healthy bull moose? That’s gonna be a fight, and the bear would probably be just as well-fed finding something else to eat. No need to risk getting kicked in the face.

Why stop there? What makes you think we should be trusting cows in the first place? If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you cared about!
But more seriously cows kill more people than sharks. Er, kill more people than sharks kill people, though I assume cows also kill more people than they kill…

radishes! that’s what i should try to grow. i love those lil things roasted all tasty with some potatoes..

I dunno, I think I could do it! I had a roughly.. 10’ x 6’ onion bed other year (hopefully this year too but it’s getting a bit late to plant them.. ugh), and for about 2 months I ate onions almost every day and had a good number to give away to others. The peppers didn’t do as well, but I only had 3 of them growing..…

holy fuck man 120? I’m a 6’2 dude and when I had got down to 135 it made my mother cry. hope you’re better now, that is not a fun size for this height :(

Dear god that’s so Jewish I’ve just been circumcised.

Can confirm, I live about a half hour from Harrisburg. I went to college down in Alabama, and I saw more confederate flags growing up here in high school than I saw down there in college. Fucking mind-blowing.

She seems like she’s the scratchy type, but also like I’d be pretty OK with that

Tom Savini is a celeb. I once considered finding where he lives and camping out on his lawn, so, there’s that. I NEVER DID, but, you know. There’s still a rough plan in place. His special effects work was and is awesome.

So who’s Victoria?

That’s the Hugh Grant-est thing I’ve ever heard. Goddamn. I’m not sure if I should be upset or just laugh.

All of the stars, people across the street just heard me cackle.