Is there any way I can feel guilty about this, as a white person?

Goddammit.

SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE.

Penn & Teller say it best ...

You are literally a man who can't take no for an answer.

"dieing to get my pussy eatin up!!"

Another hero falls....

Life...uh...finds a way.

This looks fine. And don't worry. Watterson still has complete control over Calvin and Hobbes. If history is any guide, he'd never agree to a movie. And no one cares enough about any other newspaper strip for a blockbuster movie to be viable. (Unless they wanna take another crack at Garfield or Dilbert).

Right Chocolate

It's just not fair, how you white people suffer.

OH, NOOOOOOOOOOO

Eh, it wasn't without flaws (a lot of flaws!), but Colbert hit some nice notes there. Anita was purely the foil in this situation. But it was a decent slot.

The aristocrats.

I don't know who "Madelaine Davies" is, but she sounds dangerous.

Coach McGurk is just the tops.