it's not about me, specifically, and it should be about me, specifically

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

My tip, my tip!

Skeletor in the front, party in the back.

Hah. No, Disney would just annihilate the NFL. They work on a completely different corporate level. The NFL can't get a football team into LA. Disney gets enormous theme parks built in China. IN CHINA. That involves working a system that Goodell couldn't even begin to comprehend.

"...And coming up on our next segment: could Janay Palmer have prevented this by being The Good Wife? The Good Wife, an Emmy award winning drama starring Julianna Margulies, premiers on September 21 at 9:30 ET/9:00 PT only on CBS..."

I don't think there's anything sinister going on here. Maybe Brown just got him mixed up with someone else he had kicked in the face that day.

I seriously love that it's actually possible Goodell will actually be fired for this.

"this guide to plan a whole day of not watching people violently shorten their lives"

[Insert trite comparison to Ray Rice here]

Whoa, that "Caps For Sale" reference just triggered a massive childhood flashback.

Um...Hitler was born in Austria. I would hope you've heard of him.

Three whole months without masturbating?!?!? Jeez, I'll be lucky if I make it through writing this com

Came here just to make sure someone noted the obvious Snow Crash reference, thank you.

Cute story! Anyone want to hear a less cute story - which hopefully makes sense - about my mom being awful? Here goes:

Come on, man. He's not going to Cleveland. His wife owns that juice bar in Miami. You think she's just gonna sell that thing and open another one up in Cleveland? You know how annoying it is to get a zoning permit and pass inspection from the health department? She's not gonna go through all that all over again.

Pilkington face.