Westeros: it’s a doggy dog world.

Electric vehicle conversions typically include an electric-powered pump for the power steering and brakes.

Pay for a newspaper, you lazy bastards.

Doobie, scotch, benadryl, nyquil. Whatever you need to do, in my opinion, it’s not a movie to watch sober. 

Game of Thrones gargles my balls. 

I have had that exact conversation multiple times before. First, why does anyone think the kids and I are having detailed dick-comparisons? Second, even if they did ask my why it’s different, I’m pretty sure I could say “In the old days when I was born, they would cut part of your dick off” and the kid would be like “H…

I’m not going to look up data that is probably freely available, but I know a lot of people with young boys and I think unmodified will be common enough for that generation that it won’t be an annoying question they have to answer their whole life. 

I remember being asked about it at least 10 times. 

America really ate the Weiner on this one.

My wife is k teacher in a bilingual program that does 50/50 English/Spanish from preschool to 8th grade. All the conservatives we know have told her what a waste of time it is to teach kids Spanish in school. Meanwhile I’ve been trying (half-heartedly) to learn for about 10 years and I'm probably at a 4/10.

Yes, and if it wasn’t the news of the day, the Cubs wouldn’t have this problem. 

I’m glad the kid learned his lesson that the flag and the pledge are, in fact, not racist at all. You know, they could have lesson plans and history book readings but nothing really educates you like getting arrested as a FUCKING 6th grader for not participating in the 2 minutes hate.

Also since these America-first assholes can’t allow any other languages to be spoken, our major options are Canada, GB, Australia. All with highly restricted immigration. No Ms. Alvarez, I’ll stay here and fuck your country up.

I didn’t read this because I assume the problem is those lazy, unionized teachers.

I dunno, I saw some Mexican Americans in Nashville recently. It’s not hard to believe they’ll make it to Kentucky any day now.

Crime to avoid? Ok, I guess you better stay out since it’s so scary. As we know there is no crime outside of cities.

Yeah he’ll probably walk around the senate floor saying “fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you...”

He’s got such a 1990s view of the drug trade it’s hilarious. I hope when he sits down with Xi Jinping, Xi is like “yeah, I just executed 20 drug dealers last week. No big deal” and poor lil Donnie is like “yeah well... we executed a muslim in texas and we didn’t let him see his imam first”

You can tell he’s been repeatedly coached-up on the talking points and then goes out there and gets immediately lost and just randomly tries to hit those points he remembers.

Yeah, these guys may be conservative ghouls but they are law nerds first and foremost.