It is a pretty good candidate for an electric conversion.

I accidentally caught his speech live on the radio. Normally I can’t listen to him without getting extremely pissed off but MAN that was so crazy it was entertaining. What a rambling lunatic! Even NPR pointed out a bunch of lies in his speech in their analysis. NPR!

A profitable clusterfuck $$

Now they have democratic elections so that makes it ok in his mind. Of course, elect a socialist and we might have to fuck your country up again...

“galaxy brain” is also anti-semitic. I’ll await your sincere apology. 

Hard to imagine Amazon taking that much of a hit. It’s a leviathan at this point.

We need to talk more about war crimes. Obama should not have led us to “move on” from the Bush administration shit. Centrists on both sides loooove to skip over, ignore, and forget about this shit. It’s 2019, they should not be able to get away with murder. 

I should set up a Swiss bank account just in case someone accidentally wires me some money. What’s the minimum balance, like $50?

“Compassionate combat”

Really, it’s the fault of the generals for not telling soldiers they can’t do that.

We deserve to get a widespread ebola outbreak in this country to thin the herd. 

Do you mean the baby death squads? Wait, I’m getting donald’s talking points mixed up.

For everyone who wants to cry about personal responsibility and budgeting: the economy of America runs on consumerist overspending. Without the stupid kids buying stuff they can’t afford, your 401k would be trash. Probably it will be again because this is all just a bubble of fake money.

All the people you look down on and don’t care about are going to crash the economy again. I hope feeling superior is enough to get you through another deep recession. 

No one is going to say anything about the fucking ghost behind Donald in those videos? Am I going crazy?

Did you have to skip the boobs?

My wife still refers to me and our kids as WOPs because I guess ethnic slurs don’t matter any more? 

That panic when either:
-I fart in bed while she’s in the bathroom and then realize it’s a terrible one just as she’s about to come out. 

Step up to avocado oil and you can go 75 miles. 

I heard it’s made from liquified Amazon workers that tried to unionize.