We defeated them by choosing not to fight. Whoah. Donald been reading The Art Of War?

“Nobody who understands, who was born after 2000, who sees what’s happened after 9/11, understands,” Kilmeade said.

Britney Spears... no only kidding, she was rubbish.

I can hear Dido in my head just from this gif.

(redneck voice): “yeah, some kinda hispanic”

“police snipers armed with Heckler & Koch rifles also form part of the defenses”
As opposed to regular rifles? Oh they’ve got H&Ks? Guess they’re not fucking around!

Yeah no kidding, you cant just be firing a rifle off into the distance. 

The middle east has been too quiet lately and we don’t have good enough reasons to bomb anyone so let them churn it up a little bit again. Raytheon has just got a ton of expensive missiles sitting around in warehouses.

The messed-up thing to me is that it seems that no one even questions whether the president can just make war all over the world without any authorization from congress. 

It really is the gimicky nature. My wife received an echo dot for christmas which we’ll be returning. I looked up what it’s capable of doing and there’s nothing that your phone couldn’t do. So unless you are handicapped or driving, there is still no need for voice commands.

I’m sure the Fire TV only lets you watch Amazon-produced porn

Boy, getting picked up by the Google now algorithm probably brings the page hits but also brings all the "because of your interest in Tesla" fanboys.

Well yeah, the way they see it, they are providing all these jobs and economic activity. It's bullshit but that's the deluded thinking.

Incorrect, unless you are very close or that poop has been sprayed in a fine mist, you are only inhaling gases that come off the poop. 

My power move for looking busy is to occasionally get a small stack of paper or roll of drawings and walk very quickly around the office. No time to stop and talk shit with coworkers, you’re very busy and important!

Tauntaun guts make great lube.

No need to over-complicate things, just shit in a box, tape it up and leave it on the step.

And then your neighbors call the police because they heard a gunshot?

because you sip beverages with your lips pulled back far enough to leave your teeth unprotected?

Yeah. If you pour whiskey on regular ice cubes it becomes too cold and then you only have a short time before it becomes excessively watery. Then your cold, watery drink quickly becomes warm and watery. I put whiskey and a splash of water on the stone and in about 5 minutes it’s cool but not cold, it will stay in a…