It’s surprising how many people I know that think when the investigation completes, they are going to go slap handcuffs on Donald and walk him out of the White House. It doesn’t really matter what they find. Like the Admiral said, if it’s really that bad that he resigns or gets impeached, which it won’t be, we have…

He had to go door-to-door and tell everyone he was a petter-ast.

Or you could just wait for the investigation to complete instead of hoovering up any little clue or leak along the way and assuming they mean something. 

How about all the brave, war-ready men from each country make two long parallel lines and fucking shoot each other and we can all move on trying to build things and solve problems.

I’ll be interested to see how this strike with the Chicago charter school is resolved. My impression of these Charter schools is that they do not place a lot of importance on having good teachers, just cheap teachers. Also many of them do not require teachers to be state-licensed. So they may be able to easily replace…

I’m looking at his picture and hearing Big Boi:

I’m surprised how many people here are germophobes. Trying to keep your environment disinfected is #1 a waste of time and #2 probably actually bad for you. Your whole outer layer is covered in bacteria. So, after sitting on a dry toilet seat, why would you need to shower when you get home? Because your butt skin bacter…

Going into a disgusting stall with a 3 year old who’s been holding it for as long as possible already and quickly wiping down everything and sitting him on the seat. “Don’t touch anything”. Then he immediately lets one of his hands rest in the gap in the front of the toilet seat, which if we’re lucky, has only pee and…

I’ve tried to discreetly brush at my desk and then just spit into the garbage but it feels weird. 

I don’t think there are just airborne fecal particles. Where is someone supposed to brush their teeth? If they did it in the break room sink it would be seen as more gross.

Who says “YESS” as they are blasting? And I also find shit sprayed against the back of the toilet bowl and up to the seat. How does that even happen?

Nah it was Cadet Bone Spurs.

Yeah, but that place is a bomb on stilts.

Those guys look so uncomfortable holding a hockey stick.

They’ve got the right idea. To enjoy a blackhawks game these days you need a lot of whiskey.

I can never say “refrigerator” with the correct emphasis any more after this song.

Not all of them had armies. But then, maybe those who didn’t got murked. I took a class on colonization of latin america in college but the only thing I remember is the name Cabeza De Vaca. Because it’s funny.

Yeah I know how it works. I used to be a policy holder. I’m just saying the commercials are pretty troop-worship-y. And that’s saying something these days. 

“hey buddy, before you die, donde esta el dorado?”

It’s not “my choice”. I’m just saying I’ll drink it.