I have this condition where small paychecks lead to emotional anxiety and mental anguish. Maybe I should sue my employer?

My little brother tried to write a better one, but just didn’t have the energy for it.

“You gonna fu*k that thing or what?” - Jim McElwain

Oh, c’mon now... Don’t you think it’s a little unfair to assume that an empaneled grand jury considered more evidence than a guy who watched some YouTube videos?

You have a lot of experience in a sprint car, I’m taking it.

nah, sucide by sprint car

Why are you dragging John into this? The girls SUNG the word, not him.

People don’t own words, that’s just not how it works.

Eh Far Cry 3 saw you get captured a few times too by Vaas just so he could spout mumbo jumbo.

Related note, I am incredibly jaded about the “every-time-a-person-dies-doing-something-risky-a-GoFundMe-gets-set-up-for-family” deal. These guys spent thousands of dollars climbing all over the world, and I’m sad they passed unexpectedly, but there is no fucking way I am donating money to get their kid through…

That jumped out at me as well. The great car driver Emerson Fittipaldi said, “I like doing dangerous things AS SAFELY AS POSSIBLE.”

I named my son after him, in addition to burning that quote into my brain.

I’m a very un-generous person, but my first thought in these instances is how selfish it is to take these sorts of risks when you have young kids. That two-year-old will never know his/her father, because the father thought it was really important to climb up an ice cliff.

[Ticking sound of a clock’s seconds hand moving]   

How dare you ask for a logical request.

End Evil in people’s hearts, through legislation! And now!

I giss he got gud

But is he being too obvious about it?

Cubans story is tanking quickly

Okay, listen here, jackass. I don’t know what your goal is, but you seem to want to “win” this. There’s no “winning” this.