“I began undoing the four machine screws holding the throttle plates to the shaft. I broke three of them”

I love that you have the world’s most complete drill bit set to use with a drill that looks like you found it in a milk crate of old Jeep parts.

Complete teardown and rebuild with suspect quality? Renting instead of buying? Massive depreciation of whatever they get their hands on? I guess there is still some Chrysler left at Mercedes Benz after all!

Rent it and wreck it. My motto for Airbnb toilets, and I guess for Mercedes when it comes to opposition research.

This has been your Daily Deadspin Reminder: Never Try.

It’s also probably a lot of money. Guarantee Trump’s poppin baby aspirins, hypertension meds, viagra, blood thinners, blood thickeners, rogaine, adderall, K, and whatever the hell else, because HOW THE FUCK IS A 71 YEAR OLD MAN STAYING UP ON TWITTER UNTIL 4 AM WHEN I HAVE TO GO TO BED BY 10:30 TO BE A FUNCTIONAL HUMAN…

I can eat Taco Bell for a week straight, or all 5 of the Arby’s cheap crappo sandwiches, or those horrid $5 Little Ceasar’s pizzas that sit under a heat lamp for 6 hours. I’m basically a C.H.U.D. And my guts cramped up just reading that order.

Well, maybe he’ll give us all a Christmas miracle and keel over dead mid December. I feel a little bad for Melania again, can you imagine watching him eat?

“Is there a calculator for people who don’t live permanently in the year 1990 and do actual modern contract work as a sole-proprietor LLC?”

That gives us eight years to start making over $800,000. Sounds attainable.

Worse, if Trump was a young black kid accused of selling a bag of weed, he couldn’t even afford to take out a full page ad in the NYT advocating for the Death Penalty for himself. Sad!

The fact that his DEFENSE for admitting to obstruction of justice was “I had my official legal counsel, the guy who represents me in court, write it” is hilarious. Truly a clown car of incompetence at best that wouldn’t bode well for him if we weren’t already in world of madness. If Trump were a young black kid…

The flowers are Dome’s still standing.

The only thing surprisingly about this is that the Ford family wasn’t involved.

Please slap her for all of us.

I don’t like this person.

(because electric cars are powered by coal)

Did millennials kill Netflix and Chill? Is Tesla and Chill the new norm? Find out tonight at 11.

Someone I know through a friend got a model X for his wife, she wanted to give it back after a week because of the way she drove. smooth acceleration didn’t exist in her world....she a peddle stomper. she’s the same person that told me “I get on the highway and get in the left lane, people can go around me if they…

Can’t you just... not floor the go pedal?