Though it’s probably the biggest reason we love chicken. There’s no such thing as medium chicken. It’s either done or nah. Meanwhile, saddle leather stays getting served in the hood. At least I’ve learned how to make burgers both done AND not saddle leather.

I second the motion to change “roaches” to “critters.” Finding any outside living thing occupying your inside space can fuck up even the best of days.

She’s objectively bad. In her entire career, she’s won ONE race. People have zero issue for ragging on Pastor Maldonado as being a shit driver, because he is (well, was since he retired) a shit driver.

I work at a (very large) health insurance company. Luckily I’m working from home so I can say FUCK all I want on my own computer, but I know for a fact that they have keyloggers on our work computers.

Stephen Crockett: I blame Instagram for this shit. Everyone is not someone. Some people are just filler. We were never supposed to know Cardi B or, more importantly, that she has a sister named “Hennessy.”

McMahill said there were 126 videos of what happened that police would be gathering, but they will not include the body camera worn by the officer who detained Bennett. McMahill said that officer didn’t have his body camera turned on, and he did not know why. He added that video showing the initial interaction…

I agree, it’s a pretty sweet looking H3... 

He didn’t mean “literal mayor appointed key to the city” he meant “inroads with a lot of black communities from performing in those cities and meeting/getting to know community leaders.”

But that seems to always be Issa’s problem - foresight. If she can’t think 3-5 minutes into the future of what the outcome of a blowjob is and what to do when someone explicitly says “I’M COMING!”, how the fuck is she going to get the rest of her affairs in order?

So you’re saying shovels are allowed as clubs. Thank you!

That... was my All-City audition piece in high school.

Was hoping this was going to be a Fancy Kristen post...

I want to throw a match at them, just out of spite.

Being a cop is an extremely dangerous occupation. I commend that officer, well done! She should’ve just complied - it was for the safety of the officer and hospital staff to arrest her. YOU DON’T RESIST IF YOU’RE FOLLOWING THE LAW! Our Boys in Blue only want to put in their hours and make it home safe to their…

Starred for calling the carotid arteries/jugular veins and trachea the “blood hoses” and “air intake/exhaust tube” respectively.

Spicy take, but plausible!

Have you... seen Jason Jordan? I think he could actually be Kurt’s REAL son.

For some reason, reading “Threepio” like that gave me a taste memory of the C3PO cereal from the 80s.

OK, “fuel” you pedantic so-and-so.

Nobody else is going to say it? Fine I’ll say it.