“I wouldn’t lick her if she was dipped in peanut butter!”

Boats cannot shut up when they get on the road.

Well it is Canada, not Can’tada.

And women breathe a little easier. One down.

Man, I was already so fed up with bad news and then I saw this headline and was like, “Okay! Enough already! Sheesh! I’ve never heard of this person but I get it—everything SUCKS!”

is a korean stuffed cucumber a cucumber stuffed by a korean or with a korean?

THIS. This article perfectly encapsulates why I can’t stand Rich’s articles.

The misuse of “everyday” killed a piece of my soul.

It’s not everyday that I get to sit across from Cristal Connors.

“We can’t do a whole interview about Showgirls,” Gina Gershon exhaled, not five minutes into our conversation at Odeon in Tribeca on May 21. I didn’t mean to exasperate her so soon—I couldn’t help it.

If Rich had .125% the actual talent he ascribes himself, he wouldn’t be working press junkets for GMG. He’s not the big fish in a small pond. He’s a tadpole in a drainage ditch.

I honestly don’t even know why they let Rich do these interviews. He’s terrible at them.

The CliffNotes for those who need:

My step sister takes a block of cream cheese and dumps a can of salsa over it. Pretty good with wheat thins or tortilla chips.

But don’t forget this:

As it happens, this week I got my American citizenship. I’ve been a permanent resident since 2003. The only thing that made me change my mind about actually getting citizenship was Trump’s fuckery. It became evident that it doesn’t matter how ‘close’ to citizenship you are - it’s a binary field. Citizen or not. 1 or…

“Why would Omar Mateen confide in Noor, a woman he clearly had no respect for?” asked Salman’s defense lawyer, Linda Moreno.

That’s my take too. What surprised me though, was that the jurors understood this. My faith in the legal process has been strengthened.

“An innocent dupe” doesn’t begin to cover it. She was violently abused by a man who refused to reconcile his own conflicting urges and thus made her the object of his displaced anger.

Y’know, if we all had access to bombs and bomb-making material this never would have happened because a good guy with a bomb can always stop a bad guy with a bomb.