This is not ever actually going to happen. You know it isn’t!

If the confederate statues controversy has taught us anything, it is that the images of influential people with unflattering histories either belong in the town square, or in museums. So I guess the nay-voting writers of these steroid era folks will be advocating for bronze busts on Sosa Street?

Winner for best interpretative dance of the Eagles 2004 Super Bowl.

A subsequent medical examination by the president’s proctologist revealed that the president is an abnormally sized shithole.

Uh excuse me: 

My friend who is a physical therapist and Knicks fan says that he loves Porzingis, but the Knicks should trade him now while he’s still seen as having a huge upside. A 7'3’’ thin guy will always break, quickly and often. I am beginning to agree.

Babies will make great workers in a few decades. Until then, they will be a resource suck. You know whouses comparatively few resources and makes for great workers now? Immigrants.

I’d like to amend, retract, clarify, and apologize.

“so it’s not like this is taking away from charity donations or anything.”

Jeff Sessions calls for an investigation into this black-on-black crime.

“Looks delicious.”

What should we refer to LaVar’s kin as? LaVar Balls? LaVar’s Balls? LaVars Ball?

I love mating with the queen.

Sunderland lost the match in question to Reading by a score of 3-1.

These two employees are so silly, if they wanted to say these things and keep their jobs they should have done so while President.

Can’t wait to see him get his shot blocked by Bogues Bogues.

“When Mexico sends its weather, they’re not sending their best. ... They’re sending weather that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing volcanos. They’re bringing earthquakes. And some, I assume, are good sunny days with low humidity.”

As a result of the tweet, Trump will lose the votes of everyone who buys Ball’s sneakers. So two votes.

The Earth is fucked.

Oh yeah, that poncho set up was silly, but I was impressed with the immense logistics otherwise. And yeah, mile 18 onward was tough tough tough, especially 5th avenue along the park (Eff that hill forever!). But the last mile was a dream. I could have sprinted another mile I was so high.