.

It does look like we had similar comment ideas, and that yours came first (pun). The similarity was not intentional, nor known to me until you pointed it out. Please do not come for me, it is not how I imagined the first instance of that to be. And please spare me the “fuck you,” we’re all in this together.

I hate having those unexpected ejectulations when reaching first base.

Skittles, Starbursts, Rolos, Snickers, Mars bars, Twizzlers, Almond Joys, Kit Kats and oh, how he loved Reese’s Pieces.

If there are suspensions, we can be sure the NBA will space them out so that two stars don’t sit out the same game.

Give respect to Beltran’s beard? Okay, I’ll take a swing at it.

Shaft Cubit should clearly be in the Chrotchtangle Region. Reminds me, I need to adjust my pants.

Whoa, whoa, everyone has this all wrong. Sushi is slang for something much much different...

...pleaded guilty to endangering the welfare of a child.

They will have a tough battle in the first round when they face Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Transjordan, and Iraq simultaneously.

A police report, released by Bowling Green police...

How can you tell?

I don’t know much about soccer. Are goalies supposed to make no attempt at approaching a live ball sitting in front of their goal?

Pictured: Guy who ran at combine who can buy all the islands.

David Wright Is Injured Again

43 was horrible, but I’d greatly prefer him to 45.

The best pair of men’s Genes? Hackman and Wilder.

The best pair of men’s Genes? Hackman and Wilder.

Bringing Oakley in is a B+ troll move. A+ would be if Gilbert hires the MSG head of security that Dolan fired after the Oakley incident.

Revis’s friend started it by saying, “I’m going in, cover me.”

He’s averaging 10.1 assists per game. How in the world is it “all but guaranteed” that he will end the season averaging a triple double?