*SARCASTIC CLAPPING AT MY COMPUTER*

Which of these people would swing the election the most if they endorsed Bernie Sanders?

Obama, Beyonce, Rush Limbaugh, Osama Bin Laden, Tupac, Elvis, Jesus

For the dead people, assume some irrefutable evidence surfaces dated to the person’s lifetime in which they address us present-day folk with an endorsement.

Which would you prefer: that your farts did not smell, or that they not make noise?

Where was Kyle Schwarber with the singing accompaniment?

Yeah but when he was a ballplayer he spent many a night after the game as someone’s daddy.

“Can my celeb cheat be Angelina Jolie?”

I’m so keeno...On UConn’s Geno...What a fantastic coacheeno...Fit to be championeeno!

“Decent.”

White Guy: “Did you see Brussels sprout in the news yesterday?”

Could have sworn the most thrown back jersey in Maryland would be Ray Rice.

Okay, but when she slid into him was she making a good-faith attempt at touching the base?

What about cases at political rallies (i.e. private property) where people are not being removed for their speech but for their race?

That woman’s wrist really got Messied up.

I learned to play with blocks in nursery school.

Northern Iowa still ate it worse.

Usually my balls get sticky for other reasons.

#AllCuffsMatter

Much like Cruz, Grayson Allen will hang around for a while but lose in the end embarassingly.

I think he meant next to the Left-Right-Left-Right B-A start

Brick breaking truther here: when there is a small gap between bricks it is considerably easier to perform the break than if the bricks were together. If the 4 bricks were together, it is essentially like breaking one brick that is 4 times as thick (hard!). Whereas if the bricks are separated, you are “just” breaking…