If you are a professional bowler you should be able to roll a 300 most games.

Phil Mickelson is as popular as he is because he was the safe white alternative to Tiger Woods for racist golf fans.

Karl Malone was not that good.

Albert Pujols lies about his age. He’s several years older than he claims.

• Athletes with facial hair are less effective than they would be if they were hairless.
  

That Lance Armstrong truly deserves the 7 Tour de France victories, because everyone else was cheating then anyway

I believe that Russell Westbrook is a better and more exciting player than Steph Curry.

I take it all back. Chris Sale is an imminently reasonable person. Those uniforms should be a war crime.

“Robin is the one who has to fight for us”

Not to mention the awful layout that renders the site borderline unreadable. Feels like I’m reading a tiny sliver of article surrounded by giant news crawls on every side.

It’s easy to forget that ESPN employs a lot of really good writers because of the literal tons of human garbage they bury them underneath.

Probably about 60% of NBA conversations between me and my friend.

+18%

Remember that time Lance Blanks made a promise to Waiters that if he fell to 13, the Suns would draft him? And then, subsequently, everyone started paying attention to Waiters as if Blanks knew a fucking thing about basketball. What a fucking Lance Blanks thing to do. And then he goes and drafts Kendall Marshall. I…

Gary Anderson tried to catch a flight to say goodbye, but he missed it.

“I’ve got just the boat!”

“We understood their one-dimensional offense. We successfully gameplanned for it. If you want to celebrate them despite their terrible offensive performance, than do so, but we declare that we figured out their offense and effectively stopped it.”

Which they did, but then the defense scored three touchdowns and the…

Oh no...Michael Jordan is going to be sad if this happens. I wish there were some visual depiction that I could share to show you how sad.

Harden at a strip club? So do I.

If you have zero interest in any of those movies, you have bad taste in movies.