SW here!

Thank you, but I will continue to enjoy my IED-free lifestyle and deal with incomprehensible military stories the old-fashioned way: smiling and nodding.

Don’t laugh at the stock photo of that child. My own daughter was recently diagnosed with shutterstock. She has watermarks all over her face and body, and she refuses to go outdoors.

I’m not a troll, I was just wrong.

I don’t really blame the guy. It must’ve been tough growing up being made out of softball.

Revenge will be difficult, as I’m having a hard time trying to figure out something more disgusting to give her to eat than what she already ordered.

I recommend the author Joan Wilder.

So you’re saying that Steven Tyler does in fact walk this way AND talk this way? That’s incredibly reaffirming.

He thought you were Satan and his 15 minutes were up.

I’m filing that one under “possible future career changes.”

I’m a black man in my thirties and my favorite sport is baseball, and that can be an incredibly lonely experience. Like Rock, I’m also a Mets fan, and I became a National League fan in part for the same reason he did (his father, like mine, hated the AL because it somehow managed to be even more racist than the NL).

I bind you, Iowa legislature, from doing harm!
Harm to your state and harm to your constituents!

“Restaurant food was decent but I had to provide my own bread and wine. The next day I was nailed to a plank of wood and died. Would not recommend.”

Worst place I ever got sick was camping in the Sierra Mountains with my family. After a week of camping, on our last night, I was struck with a really nasty stomach bug. We had spent the afternoon drinking margaritas, so when the first wave of nausea hit, I thought it was the tequila. But no. How I wish it had been…

Yes!! I loved that book.

Oh and when I hit the meat market at 35.... 20 somethings are completely insane and not for keeping. I met a couple that were actually normal, but many were plain old Bat Guano crazy.

And this is a broke down-wig.

I got the "you're so smart!" shtick from my parents when I was little. Very heavily. Early—very early—childhood intelligence tests, high achievement in school. Honestly, I probably was pretty smart. But then I started to bump into the spots where I actually had to try. It was incredibly frustrating and I ended up…

After "oh yeah," the undercover officer gave the signal for the arrest team to move in and arrest Anthony.

I am actually, because I'm usually spanking pretty girl's asses, fucking my boyfriend or husband, or participating in a huge cuddle pile. I just don't talk about that shit at work.