"The wife and I are starting to talk about maybe talking about having kids and I can't figure out which I would prefer."

Oh god I'm cumming ... wait, I need one more drag on this cigarette ... ok, now I'm cumming,

+1

+1. Very nice.

"Like oh my god, no I'm not crying because I'm sad - I'm crying because the best chance I ever had to get married just proposed to me at a fucking Phillies game!"

"Jefferson comes in wearing sunglasses, why he's in sunglasses after midnight I truly have no idea..."

Wow - I am speechless.

+1

And in related news, Michael Vick has just received endorsement offers from every Fortune 500 Company.

Wait, I didn't know the Eagles had signed George Michael to play QB.

"Don't bother," he said. "We don't even bring pucks on the ice."

"Don't bother," he said. "We don't even bring pucks on the ice."

Very nice.