You should read “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” just so you know what “normal” looks like for your body and can get medical help early for any changes.

Scandinavians have a higher than average rate of inherited thrombophilias and so are especially prone to blood clots.

There are three possible reasons for that, likely in combination.

Well, we don’t know that. We’ll have to wait and see if the babies come with EULAs.

Yup. I’ve never ever had a regular 28-day cycle. When I was younger, it used to vary between 24-28 days. These days it’s 28-31 days. I can’t trust an app to accurately predict when Aunt Flo will arrive with any degree of accuracy, so I certainly wouldn’t trust one to know when I’m ovulating.

Make sure you leave it on Vibrate.

Take your stars, you hilarious bastard.

yeah unless I can shove the phone up my vagina and it blocks sperm, big no.

Peeing on my team? Who do I look like, Dan Snyder?

“37 women in Sweden reported unwanted pregnancies due to using the app.”

If only the plural of anecdote were data.

Have you tried peeing on it?

Shit, I can’t even reliably draft each round of my fantasy football team on an iPhone.

Most women do not have perfectly predictable cycles that stay the same for all their years of fertility. So you are one of the lucky ones.

Okay so the parents = rhythm method users joke is cover y’all.

Imagine if it did though, they really need to re-market themselves.

Sex makes babies, people. And there’s a lot of biology at work to make conception happen. An app measuring your body temperature is a tremendous gamble. Cycles change, circumstances change, biology changes, people are different. A lot of faith in an app.

The headline makes you think the app is going around impregnating people, which I think should be the plot of a future Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie.

I’m sorry, but you don’t use a method with 7% failure and then act all surprised when you get pregnant. If only 492 other women use the app it can cause 37 pregnancies and still be within advertised thresholds.