Spoken like a guy who's never seen a vagina. Or a picture of a vagina. And definitely hasn't gotten a glimpse of a pussy.

"Do I deserve to have my bike stolen if I leave it unlocked on the quad?"

Later, Calhoun explained:

This is only, like, 31st on the list of the Most Florida Thing Ever. It needs AT LEAST an alligator, some government corruption, and a meth connection to get into the top 20.

It's just below "Banging" on my list of favorite sex euphemisms. "Humping" sounds a like slightly naughty fun, but awkwardly difficult and maybe a little .

Worst fight I ever got in was at a stupid fantasy baseball draft about 15 years ago. One guy was a huge Indians fan and kept talking about how awesome the "Indians" would be. Every time he mentioned them I'd say something like, "Yeah, the Big Goofy Racist Pictures should be great this year." (I was pretty drunk and…

Who could have foreseen that a critically corrupt bidding system that could easily be perverted by any group of assholes with money to burn would lead to this sort of trouble?

If by "The Man" you mean "Thousands of people just trying to get groceries," then yes, it IS a great way to stick it to The Man

I must be the only one who remembers mom taking away a bowl of cheerios and saying, "Run out and play, be back before dark."

That's true, and not a sign of Iran's love of women's rights.

Issue a fatwah against him?

Isn't it the post by the Iranian President that is brave?

Touche!

"A conviction is irrelevant?" What country do you live in?"

1. Nope. Plenty of evidence to support a decision to report they sexually assaulted a girl; a conviction is irrelevant.

Maybe not a flight risk, but the prosecutor probably argued she was a "Not going to show up for the next hearing" risk.

Because no man, ever, in HISTORY! has ever lusted after a crazy, dangerous woman because she's hot.

"Besides, as the author of this piece acknowledges, these coaches are not really public employees. They are managers in a commercial enterprise."

"Coaches are not "public employees" in any meaningful sense."