I would have made her repeat it over and over. Like, “pardon? what’d you say? plz explain.”

The thing, too, is that his statement assumes that Haana was okay with being hugged. A hug can also be unwanted physical contact. Hard stop.

Gaga should do a “Telephone” performance with Beyoncé Skyping in from some insanely elaborate master bed setup.

so, how can i watch this movie? knowing how much it scares men makes me want to see it more than ever.

Muslim refugees don’t come anywhere near fucking up my life the way white men do every single day.

“All of those <looks down at paper> 69,000 bitches were lying!”

Don’t forget the “chocolate diamonds” (aka diamonds that used to be only useful for industrial purposes until someone saw they could re-brand them as some sort of special cool diamond and make $$$).

Stay tuned for today’s episode of: “Can you imagine what the reaction would have been if Michelle Obama had done something like that?”

Every molestation begins with Jared.

Yeah, who would have thought that a company with ‘TRADE SHINY-SHINY FOR SEXY TIMES!’ as a motto would be sexist?

I think we need pictures to better assess the situation.

What about dressing your two dogs in elf PJs while you wear Santa PJs? Asking for a friend.

Hey you try being regular when you swallow that much gum.

I wouldn’t have used “rectified” in my letter in this situation.

If a younger adult in good health dies from bed bugs, call me. A 96 year old can die from complications of a cool breeze, may she rest in peace.

My family didn’t go to the movies a lot when I was growing up/a teenager. We wanted to till everything came to the video store (Video Library, Hollywood Video, my dad hated Blockbuster). So in 96 it was a big deal when we all went and saw the most talked about movie of the time “Twister.” We didn’t go see another…

Cool. We are electing the Chair of the Democratic Party. If he wants a say he needs to join the party and put in the work.

The two men are united, and both wasted no time saying so. One would think we could follow their lead!

I’d bring my own death drugs, but I’m totally afraid of the long-term side effects...