Kourtney’s ambivalence is #lifegoals.

So much for the party of state’s rights and small government! I hate these people so much. I’m so scared of the next four years. I have no idea how/if we’re going to make it.

So basically this fuck just created a god damn nightmare for all these people and their families.

This, right here. Why hasn’t some black hat with a heart of gold hacked this shitbag so we can see his tax records?

At least John McCain was capable of showing a shred of decency with regards to his political opponent. Trump’s version was just going back on a batfuck crazy promise to jail his rival.

No, I actually NEED there to be a Pink Lemonade.

Personally, I always think of it as the sperm swimming (going the direction of the arrow)

It’s called a “Cruz” and it’s so in right now.

How fucking dare she?! I bet she was going to use the force of law to steal your guns, religious freedom, homophobia, islamophobia and misogyny too.

I thought everybody in Texas was Yosemite Sam

Why would someone fire a gun for celebrating?

Celebratory GUNFIRE? Is this his neighbour?

I have several qualms with Megyn Kelly, but inconsistency isn’t one of them. She’s always been perfectly consistent in supporting whatever was good for Megyn Kelly. She’s not a feminist. She’s not an anti-feminist. She’s a Megynist. Always has been.

The mention of French probably triggered his Napoleon complex.

That’s what I don’t get. He seems to be vain as hell, but NOTHING about him would indicate that. His hair is a joke, his skin is unnatural, he’s overweight, and he wears terrible-fitting clothes. Or do NPDs also have a kind of body dysmorphia where they look in the mirror and see hotness where there is none?

He’d have to learn how to read, first.

Honestly, does the man not have ANYTHING to wear that is even remotely tailored to fit his bulbous figure?

Mike Pence is going to need his smelling salts and a happy ending from Dr James Dobson after he hears this news.