Hooray! Now just walk back the decision to get rid of Ray and bring us Beebo merch and everything will be perfect.

Praise Beebo!

Beebo wuvs that photo!

Nah, that’s not Darth Vader.

Yeah, gallows humor is the only thing keeping me hanging in there.

Now, now...be kind. Human is her second language.

Hello Titty.

And when James isn't in mind for an article, it should always make sure to ask "where's James?"

His character in John Wick is actually Adrian Pimento in deep cover.

He bounced a bunch on the way down.

Folgers in the Attic. 

“The best part of waking up is 2 girls and 1 cup”

You disgust me!

How dare you bring up the breast size of the young actress who plays Martha? I thought we had evolved past just judging an actress on her physical appearance, but I guess we haven’t, you Neanderthal! You disgust me!

Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes can reportedly “grip and rip”

I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. Let me clarify some things. I am definitely NOT a true artiste. I am not “just another sell-out hack,” I’m a sell-out hack with an excess of duct tape I’m trying to monetize.

Huh, I was coming down here to crap all over the Quaker one. Maybe they have different things available in different markets, but the one available in stores near me is a Quaker ‘Oat Beverage’ which is too sweet,and too thick. Like, not milk thick, but more like really runny pancake batter.

She's retreated into her own personal void for now, and can only be persuaded to leave it by the power of a demonstrably contrite and committed friendship. 

Not a Luthor.