If I wasn’t bored, why would I have been on Gawker during work hours? It’s almost like you’re a moron or something.

there’s this awful notification that won’t go away until I press it. It’s the only reason I’m still paying any attention to you.

No. I’m copy and pasting because I’m lazy and you’re boring.

what breakdown? you’re clearly putting more effort into this than I am.

what rage? you’re clearly putting more effort into this than I am.

better, but you can still probably do better than this.

is this really the best you can do?

*yawn* surely you can do better than this.

Do you smoke bath salts or something?

Try to avoid getting any of that on your keyboard. It might make for a tough conversation with your mom/girlfriend/wife.

I take that back. D grade.

not really. you’re only a C-grade Gawker troll. The MRA’s over on Reddit would eat you alive.

Why would hugging my bike make me feel better? Riding it will for sure though. Especially since it’s something you can’t do.

I’m not the one having the meltdown. You’ve been called out on being a smarmy asshole by a couple people and keep digging yourself a deeper hole. You’re clearly spending a lot more time on this than me. That’s probably deep seated feelings from getting picked on as a kid for not being able to ride a bike finally…

actually you started it with “I have a car and have no real need. It’d be like learning to calculate on an abacus when I have a smartphone.”

You must be very fun at parties.

Who said any form of travel is fun? I clearly did. Bikes are fun, really fun, and every kid (minus weirdos like you) got to experience that. Cars are mostly not.

If you can’t ride a bike you can’t really make an informed judgement about whether or not it’s fun can you (that’s the argument we are having, try to keep up)? I can tell you that it’s very rare that you see anyone not having fun when they’re on a bike. Look around during your commute and tell me how much fun the…

You don’t know how to ride a bike. You’re the outlier here. You don’t even have the basic life experience to have an informed opinion on the subject.

I’ve done rides over 100 miles in the middle of the Sonoran desert. They were amazing. In some places there wasn’t even pavement much less a road shoulder or sidewalk (not that I’d ride on either of those things anyway).

It’s not my fault you don’t like fun.

except riding a bike is significantly more fun than driving a car.

You don’t really need adult sized balance bikes. Just take off the pedals and lower the seat such that the person can put their feet on the ground while seated.