Do not buy a Crosley. Ever. For any price. They eat vinyl records for breakfast.

Do not buy a Crosley. Ever. For any price. They eat vinyl records for breakfast.

Q: What did the ocean say to the sailboat?

On a positive note, Jimbo can now check off “seeing the Eiffel Tower” on his bucket list. 

[Alarm clock turns from 5:59 to 6:00 AM. “I Got You Babe” begins to play. A BENGALS FAN lies in bed and opens his eyes.]

I know a guy that knows what it is. Would you believe it started life as a 1969 Corvette? A one-off custom build.

I guess after the Petit-Frere coup, you could say that Ohio State is no longer a little brother in this rivalry....

The door is over there? Great, thanks.

Did somebody say, “Killer body shots?!”

me texting at the 2-minute warning: “I can’t believe I’m here rooting for Andy fucking Dalton”
me yelling at TV 1 minute later: “YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKING GINGER PRINCE!!!”

“It’s a tarp!”

0-0.  Have a nasty cold. Checked out early. What did I miss?

Choke the Raven nevermore.

Didn’t you hear? With a team in Vegas, that’s legal now.

It’s really good. I started playing thinking it would be a good time killer while I take a shit, but after the first round I closed it and said, “I’m going to have to dedicate some actual time and effort to this.”

Good thing he’s a Sontaran and not a man then.

Why doesn’t the NBA mind the player-for-a-day thing when it comes to Derrick Rose?

Great move. Southerners love Cousins!

...so I could feel a little more like a human, rather than a rabid animal shoveling pink, cheese-filled meat into my mouth with no thought of decorum or decency.

They didn’t lose America in the first civil war...

Why???

Former PGA TOUR exec here: The PGA TOUR does NOT love Augusta, in fact just the opposite. The Master’s is not a TOUR event and all it does is diminish the value of actual PGA TOUR events just like the MLB would hate it if the World Series was run by someone other than MLB. It may bring interest to golf, but it takes…