I believe CA is making it a ballot requirement - no returns means you’re not on the ballot.

On the eve of the inauguration, I think it’s a good time to remember that under President Obama, twenty million Americans gained health insurance, cutting the percentage of uninsured Americans to single digits; same-sex marriage was legalized; DADT was repealed; combat positions were opened to women and transgender…

A veteran criminal gang with 3 women and a 72 year old master counterfeiter? Can we get a show about them? They sound infinitely more interesting than the Kardashians.

Yes, I understand the concept of midnight in a particular time zone. No, ABC broadcast the Times Square ball dropping LIVE at 11pm Central time, which was midnight in the eastern time zone. As always, the live broadcast was one hour earlier in the central time zone as it was LIVE from the east coast. Source: Me and…

you rat bastard.

i shot a bb gun at a moving car from the roof of my house and blew out the driver-side window and the driver stopped and saw me and my friends on the roof and we ran in different directions and the driver caught up to one of my friends and beat the shit out of him. we were 13.

Yep. And out here on the west coast, we watch the ball drop at 9pm while we’re getting ready to go out. It’s convenient that way. And also handy for parents who want to trick their kids into thinking they got to stay up late.

Virtually every star quarterback is as important to their team as Aaron Rodgers. How many games do you think the Falcons win without Matt Ryan—the guy who is actually going to be the MVP?

I couldn’t go on past “Another man, whom she thought might help her, instead forced her to to give him a blow job, she recalled.”

and he takes, a full hour lunch.

I was horrible with lose v loose as a teenager, until I realized I knew how to spell loser.

Lose. “Lose” rhymes with “booze.” “Loose” rhymes with “goose.”

It has to start somewhere. This is a powder keg... just wait until spring... it’s either going to be Fort Sumter, or Bleeding Kansas. These guys ain’t moving, and the people in power want them gone. Blood is going to be spilled over oil... and ironically it will be on US soil.

Their kids. Not her kids. Their kids.

They aren’t just her kids. They’re his kids too and he has parental rights just as much as she does.

Wait, who said this was Westworld’s big twist? I don’t even think it was top 5 in terms of big twists. In order of things that I think were a bigger twist:

The Weeknd was in the Jonas Brothers?

That also means “dummy” in Korean.

I have friends (I’m 31, for reference) who still call their fathers “Daddy” and it weirds me out. But then again, I call my dad “Derek”.

Oh fucking stop she was 19 not 13.