How long until the Russians blame this on diving board sabotage? This is so Cold War

The “if you know what you’re watching” arguments about soccer don't really make it any better. Knowing or not, it's hard to get jazzed for 2 or 3 exciting moments in a full 90 minutes

Yea, but baseball purists are worse than the people from the footloose town. They don’t like anything fun. Speaking for myself, a pitchers duel is not what I’m here for. That’s 8 people standing around for 4 hours. I’ll watch soccer when it's a big game or if there isn't much else on, but I can never get into it. I…

American football has become sooo slow, I’ll give you that. Every QB uses the whole play clock, so many stops in play and all those fuckin commercials! I would suggest just switching to basketball. There are so many outrageously talented players and freak athletes in the NBA. And you don't have to watch a bunch of…

You probably would have fucked the book up anyway, so this is the best possible outcome. Everything's coming up Millhouse!

You must be a blast to be around

I don't understand how paying $800 million to keep $70 million a year is a good business idea

Yes, because who hasn’t sat around and said “I know what I’ll do, I’ll google Rihanna lyrics..”?

NBC has had a rough time since the end of Will and Grace, they'd broadcast a public execution if it got them ratings again

They can’t take over third world countries anymore, maybe foul balls would be easier

Second year I’ve read this and I still get mad that you chose burgoo for Kentucky over the amazingness that is a hot brown

Hmmm idk, I think I might have to call bullshit on this. This is one of those movie type escapes. They do make them way tougher south of the border though

Do what I used to do when I worked in an office with Fox News playing all day. Get there early, unplug the tv and just say that one doesn’t work for as long as it can go on

It's not normally the case for a priest to swat balls away from a young boy

He was living up to the stand your ground thing fully

If he comes right out and says “just like in Star Wars” I think it cheapens it a little bit. It’s too on the nose. You end up thinking about Star Wars and not about a dope scene in a different movie

The pastel button up paired with khakis (be they shorts or pants) has become the Kentucky tuxedo for rich white kids here

“How can we make baseball more exciting? I know! We can intentionally walk the biggest name is baseball every time he comes to the plate!!”