Or you could practice being better at soccer so people dont embarrass you so much.

Theres something odd about J.P.P’s tone throughout this interview, but I can’t quite put a finger on it.

THAT HAIL MARY PLAY I CALL IT THE DENTIST BECAUSE IT KILLED SOME LIONS FROM EXTREME LONG RANGE.

Muhammad Ali lost 5 times and he’s considered the best boxer of all time.

“But how is DraftKings going to pay for two pricey law firms in what is potentially going to be a drawn out and costly legal battle?”

The fact that “Professional Internet Commentator” is not recognized by the US Labor Department is a grave injustice.

I read the first sentence and jumped straight to the replies. “Trying to cut back on its ad spending.”

You seem like a man who enjoys the touch of another man.

His own manager shamed him too:

I fucking hate it when people try and have fun while playing baseball

20 years ago, I helped Mrs. Palmeiro and her two adorable toddlers pick out some books at a fancy book/music/software store. I just realized one of her two exceptionally well-behaved toddlers just went 2-5 with a grand slam.

Nothing stopping him from running for president now

Barry is right.

...which would mark the first & last time ever that being an asshole kept someone out of professional baseball.