Wait, so if a coworker told you another coworker was a child molester, you wouldn't do anything?

Here's the thing that all the Paterno corpse fellaters fail to appreciate: Paterno could have ended this whole thing with one phone call. No, not to the cops or the school administration; to the media. You want justice in this country while maintaining your reputation? You call a fucking journalist and tell them…

The decision to vacate the wins was nearly two and a half years old, so it comes as no surprise that Penn State completely fucked it.

"Football was more important to them than saving children."

And the answer is: not many people. Back in 2009 they were apparently averaging something like 21,000 (yes, you read that right) viewers during the opening bell hours.

"Up to $1,900 for the most expensive tickets."

But the rest of their reporting is tip-top, I'm sure.

It's actually based on this report from a Forbes "contributor," which is incredibly bad and dumb. I'm fairly certain anybody can post anything directly to Forbes.com these days; it's like Kinja that people actually use.

"Nah man, I don't wanna go to the Super Bowl, I'm going to an awesome Super Bowl party" said a guy who clicks on banner ads about the liberal conspiracy to steal our food

I think you missed the part of the story where she fought to get away, and was then held down and raped while pleading him to stop and let her leave.

apparently you can't fucking read. she told him no. she fought him and scratched him. she had vaginal injuries consistent with her story, and his injuries corroborated her story as well.

Like, why the fuck would she leave her couch there?

Holy shit, that George Clooney joke was straight up brilliant.

I seriously bust out laughing so hard at the Clooney joke. So much better than the Cosby joke, which Fey already did on Weekend Update all those years ago. But the Cosby joke was about the courage in presenting it in the first place, so I'm totally behind that, too. :)

Welcome to lawyer-ball, the sport that has replaced gridiron football. If your i's are not dotted and your t's not crossed, do not pass go, do not collect first down conversion.

True. It distracted from the sophisticated humor of the fake blowjob.