Roger Ailes looks like the person who made doctors figure out humans could use porcine valves.

To be able to run for president, you should have to do a sit down with Katie Couric, where she asks you what newspapers you read.

Trayvon Martin is maybe the only person whose hunger for skittles killed him... And even then it was a right wing nut job who turned out to be the real killer.

Because of your name, I’m assuming you’re being intentionally ironic.

I like a candidate that saves all their charisma for when they’re out of the race.

We don’t want racism on our campus. It makes us look bad. So it’s best to just deny the problem exists. That usually makes it go away.... Just like rape.

Wow. You weren’t kidding.

How was he a dick? Genuinely curious.

This costume is cute. As a black woman, who took dance as a kid, and had to struggle to find nude tights that matched my skin tone, I kind of like the default brown of this costume.

Case closed...Marc said he doesn’t see color... which should be obvious from his hideous clothes.

Colbert comes off as a guy who doesn’t mind playing the fool if it makes his guests look good. I think he sometimes defaults to his old Colbert Report character at times. Or maybe it’s an old improv habit that never died.

I feel like you’d have to be a monster to bear witness to someone giving birth right in front of you and not feel compelled to at least offer to help

What’s bigger than being an international pop star?

How do I know if I’m on the wrong side of history?

“Hey, can I borrow the car? Before you answer, remember that time I risked my life to save our livelihood and my grandfather from ax wielding robbers? Kthxbye!”

Ann Coulter had the strongest laughs at the roast... If you count the laughs at her expense.

I can’t wait until the dad starts teaching the kids Negro spirituals, and dragging them out to BLM events.

“I was hacked” is one of those lies that makes me fear actually getting hacked; the same way I feared an actual dog eating my homework.

The humiliation of being told to put something on because I’m too scantily clad, is nothing compared to the fear and shame I’d feel at forcibly being told to take something off.