What is this, an oval for ants? You know it has to be at least three times bigger than that.

My state has inspection stickers in the windshield, so that’s the first thing I look for in low-priced ads. If they don’t have one, I move on

A youtuber came up with an experiment where you clean your system with laxative and water, then eat only corn for a day to see what comes out. At least one of his viewers filmed the results. Looked like a can of corn dumped in the toilet. 

I hit a deer just last week and the first thing everyone asked me was if I was sure it was a deer. 

A new Krispy Kreme opened in my area last week and the line of cars has been in the hundreds.  I wouldn’t wait in that line for a free dozen

White trash, but the version I’ve had usually includes white chocolate covered pretzels, peanuts, and reeses pieces or m&ms. That might be a different snack altogether. I’m in the south, but the person who introduced me to white trash was from up north.

And fix the damn windshield!

I’ve still been getting my daily previews. I only stop at the mailbox when it lets me know there’s something important.

I always dreamed of seeing the Wienermobile as a child. I finally got my chance a few years ago as a 27 year old child. I got my whistle and stickers and selfie and had tons of questions for the drivers. I have seen it 2 more times since then and it always brightens my week.

A local BBQ joint charges for each 10 oz bottle of coke. You can’t tell me there isn’t a soda gun over at the bar to fill a glass.

Garden & Gun is my favorite magazine to read at the dentist

I still don’t believe anyone has an issue with that word. My wife and I both think people just think it’s funny to act like they have an issue with “moist”. Same how people are with 69.

Tom has mentioned before on the show, “I’m not a car person, I’m a people person.” The show is really more a show about people than cars.

I always order these burgers for my son and get them “plain”. He likes them that way and I agree that they taste better sans condiments. These small burgers are meant to be simple.

As a migraine sufferer who vomits frequently, the worst thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of throwing up isn’t even on the list: Lettuce

My son is 4 and gets nightmares. Every night at bedtime he bawls his eyes out saying he needs to sleep in our bed because he’s too scared. I feel like such an ass staring into his teary eyes and not letting him, but I know the ramifications.

I gross my wife out all the time eating cold hamburger helper out of the fridge. I know how to cook some delicious meals, but sometimes I just gotta have hamburger helper. It brings me back.

I see what you did there

I have a 2009 MKV and am on my third intake, too. They extended the warranty on that part because they knew it was crap. I just had it replaced last year and it was free.

If you grab enough people off the street, you can compile the dumb ones. All you need is 3 or 4 to make a commercial.