Cumin, ranked:

I was watching a Phillies game umpired by Joe West. West got into a verbal exchange whatever Phillies pitcher was on the mound. Harry Kalas was doing the play-by-play and called the first pitch to the next batter: “0-0 count and he takes one down the middle for a ball.” Richie Ashburn (color commentator) after a pause…

How long before the animal-rights Nazis complain about the dog not wearing a helmet on the field?

How long before the animal-rights nazis complain about Jake not wearing a helmet?

The picture is awesome. Looks like he just caught a nut shot.

Wouldn’t you be better off robbing something like Diamond Wholesalers or some such and selling diamonds to fund a life of luxury?

It looks like #6 at Bay Hill.

“As I read each report, I searched them for two words: domestic violence. I do this because...” I am grasping for any explanation other than deranged Trump-detractors inciting just this sort of thing.

I wouldn’t completely discount the possibility of them buying him out, either.

“On the one hand, it would create absolute chaos in the American political landscape immediately.”

I agree. Hands down.

Is 4:00 AM really so late when your normal routine is to leave work at midnight?

Joe Blanton

Has anyone ever seen Kyle Schwarber and Joe Blanton in the same place?

I know what you mean. I really hate it when people don’t know how to spell “pseudo”.

“The PMA did not immediately return a request for comment on the artistic value or quality of the fake art museum.”

Pull my finger.

“I can’t wait for my 50s. The kids will be out of the house by then.”

“However, let’s say there’s another major sporting event where the power goes out”

Yet another reason to build a wall.