In their defense, the Redskins don't understand how most things work.

Detroit mayor: "Hooray, what a glorious day! Our troubles are over! Those big city boys have come to the rescue!"

Adrian Peterson: I put straps on that boy

We're boned. So extraordinarily boned.

Well that's certainly more effective than the mushrooms Kyle Shanahan was taking yesterday.

Andrea Bargnani thought about jumping to help J.R. Smith's defense, but ended up just watching.

This joke only made it about 3/5 of the way there.

Was that one of the Laker Bros standing up at the end?

If you want all of ESPN to avoid mentioning "Redskins", just get them to switch names with the Capitals.

Todd Haley illegally poaches narwhals off the coast of Alaska in the off-season because their horns remind him of drilling babes.

Considering Marcus' only source of income is probably his brother at this point, it means the Eagles are actually in a way paying to put out a hit on their own #2 WR.

Jesus Christ, Michael. Keep your brother on a leash!

In other Jaguars news, the NFL is trying to convert Londoners one person at a time.

There hasn't been a team with this few page views since Jamarcus Russell was handed the Raiders playbook

Looks like CVS doesn't have any trouble putting this bomb on display.

Mr. Rodgers is now somewhere between a rock and a hard place.

The group stopped at a gas station to pick up "blue cotton candy Bubblicious gum and Black & Mild cigars

It's too bad Tebow didn't join the team last year. Hernandez could have learned how to never successfully execute anything.

Johnnie Cochran would have a hard time getting him off. No Homo.