Hmmm trying to imagine what headlines would say about my “slams”:

So I assume you also totally have a problem with Lady Mormont being in charge of Bear Island, right?

The sign on the Wall down the LF line used to read 315. They changed it a while back to 310. I believe the true distance is 308.

I’ve tried this in the past also and got 301' for the Pesky Pole. I think that all of the signage at Fenway is accurate, including 420' in the triangle, EXCEPT for the “310" sign in left, which everyone has known for decades to be complete bullshit. The left field corner is almost exactly the same as the Pesky Pole.…

I really like Phish and I’ll continue to only be mildly embarrassed to tell other people that fact

not the time

The women stand by their takes.

Montreal.

From the Globe story (my emphasis added):

They would probably kick Samer’s ass too.

based on my basic calculations, the ball would have traveled very far

Crickets?

Cricket? GET OUT OF HERE LIMEY. THIS IS AMERICA

I don’t know how to cope with having my favorite young MLB player a fucking Yankee.

The last time I was in the office, they told me about some of Marchman’s dipping habits and I was so upset I backed myself into a bookshelf and clung on for dear life. I have to go back today and I’m honestly scared for what they’ll do to me, this is hazing.

This makes no sense.

Well, he’ll always have the job at the gay bar to fall back on

On the plus side, with “I’m a corncob who eats trash,” you’ve inadvertently created the best Kinja handle since “Smirking Bristol Chimp No. 347.”