AAnd who the fuck thinks they are actually getting unlimited time off? Its the apocalypse. You’re going to be foraging and looting and pillaging for survival. That’s work. Just not for money, and not for some balding loser named Jim

I keep voting for dramatic sex because it would mean I’m actually having sex.

What is the point of unlimited time-off if you can’t have Dramatic Hate Fucking?

Right?? Shitting in a hole is better than a world with no pollination!

I can’t believe people would rather shit indoors than eat food.

Real talk though, indoor plumbing isn’t going to be worth much when we run out of toilet paper since all the trees are dead now that bees can’t pollinate anything.

This logic reminds me of when Chuck Todd criticized Hillary Clinton for being “over prepared” for one of the presidential debates.

Why? Well, Hunt and Ackerman think it’s because she has every scene memorized

Or, she could have had an assistant write that tweet. <adjusts tinfoil hat>

Joe, I’d rather see you properly apologize to Anita Hill and all of her supporters first. Yes, seriously.

I agree. I didn’t take that as a jab at women at all. I am one of the few people I know who can drive a stick.

Most Americans can’t drive stick. It seemed more of a two Americans in Europe joke to me.

Who the hell is Aubrey ODay?

Biden will snatch his wig off and it’s over in less than a minute.

Yes....I would like to unsubscribe from that newsletter as well

Is Aubrey O’Day going to give us a daily update on her sex life from now on? I’m honestly not interested.

I remember when Paris Dylan was on Catfish, because she was involved in a truly bonkers story about a Canadian woman catfishing Paris and NBA player Chris Andersen.
Had no idea Don McLean was even still alive.

I can’t believe that, in early voting, Wellness is beating Capitalism, considering that Wellness is Capitalism, just the even worse kind of capitalism where it’s explicitly trying to sell you bullshit by making you feel really awful about yourself. At least regular capitalism occasionally produces really cool sandwich…

There are several pills that must be taken daily. Blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, prostate, pain, depression, etc.

another proof the we need to ban books.