Do those blinds deliver delicious cheese to my mouth hole?

Now I kind of want a Home Alone sequel where we get to see what Kevin has become as an adult. Basically a cross between American Psycho and Loony Tunes.

Arsonist Bull #1: “Why did we just burn that place down?”
Arsonist Bull #2: “Because now they’re going to need to re-fill all those jars.”

Well played.

You know what? I don’t hate this.

In other shocking ex-White House Press Secretary news: Sarah Huckabee Sanders just joined Fox News.

I think this dark and gritty reboot of Hamburger Helper is gonna do just fine.

I absolutely hated this movie the one and only time I saw it. But it did spark an interesting discussion / argument between my wife and I. We didn’t argue over whether the film was good or bad. We both hated it. Our argument was over which of the main characters is worse. She contends that Tom is clearly The Worst…

Ok, here’s a question: why is it my fucking responsibility to fix Amazon’s worker abuse problems?

Just don’t click the Noah button unless your device is waterproof.

Back in my day we had to hold down the Play and Record buttons at the same time and wait an hour. And we liked it!

This conclusively proves that EDM is the work of parasitic worm-people, as many of us have long suspected.

It’s her job and she does it well.  She doesn’t owe you or anyone else anything.

.... 16 minutes later: “We made Cats!”

No, you’re absolutely right. It was heavily telegraphed. Though to be honest I only caught that in hindsight because I wasn’t really thinking about it at the time. It was one of those “oh duh I really should have seen that coming” moments.

I really, really hope Abbie is for-real dead and they don’t pull some bullshit to bring her back. I assume the show wanted me to feel shocked and sad when she died but all I felt was relief and joy. I may or may not have fist-pumped. Good lord I cannot stand Abbie any more.

I think “the CGI is serviceable and not creepy” is the point you would see the most push-back on.

I don’t think anyone will ever top “short-fingered vulgarian” for Trump burns that include words he almost certainly doesn’t understand.

“Pretty Shit Now”
A daily journal of tasteful and artfully-presented turds.

“Dear Wasps,” (a Haiku)