I know it’s a story where the punchline writes itself, but I hope people will also remember that good humor punches up, not down.

OMFG I wanna tongue kiss Howard Dean. I thought I was the only one with the cocaine theory.

Kids need some stability though. School and a daily routine are important.

Please don’t let it be Tom Hanks, which was the name that sprung to my mind. I’d die inside.

“The closeted perv has never come out as gay”

Because he very well may not be; being a child predator /= gay. Abusive sex is about power, not identity.

Jet fuel can’t melt bed springs.

We all know that’s not as disrespectful as quietly sitting down during the national anthem. Geez.

They could easily predict the stock market, too.

Their answer for that is always something along the lines of “not being able to use their powers” for such things as the Lottery/gambling, etc.

“She said that the office declined to prosecute because her attacker was “drunk and they ‘can’t prove’ he knew I wasn’t consenting.””

By default most meetings have the title of ‘Wasted Time’.

Here I should clarify that I despise coyness and code-speak and that if you ask me whether I “party” the answer will be “not with you”

When I was 26, it meant “do you get drunk and then have sex with strangers?”

Olympic negativity? What?

Ah, the esoteric “Olympic archery truther”.

If the Earth were round, Giancarlo Stanton’s dingers would go straight into outer space. Think about it, you guys.

FlexJobs is a pay-only service, but you can probably find the postings directly at the websites of the hiring entities. I found a much more up-to-date list of postings by going to About.com directly.

If WBC keeps using Pokemon in their promotional material, would Nintendo have precedent to sue them for unauthorized use of their IP? Because that is a battle that I would love to watch go down.

My dad taught me this as a kid, being a kid growing up with a veteran was interesting.