He never said he liked his kids.

Well IIIIII remember let me tell you when all flights were limited to 55mph because of the foil crisis and they couldn’t take to the sky going so slowly so they had to just grumble along the ground like tired old wasps, and they glumly crashed through the fence at the end of the flooblestrip, and everyone cried out,…

It’s true. There are many unusual names for groups in the animal kingdom.

the only thing i care about in football is when the winning team lines up to gently kiss the tip of the president’s penis and receive a championship muffin

For a guy without a working finger, he seems easily triggered.

Oakley’s Wikipedia page at the moment:

Bubba, when I took my oath of allegiance, I didn’t have to offer fealty to the President. But I did have to affirm this:

Dirk Nowitzki said he tried to vote but they didn’t let him, then some short people WERE allowed to vote. Sad!

Jeff Sessions is the worst of the crackers.

...and you lean over to said dick-woman and whisper in her ear, “nice price.”

Fun fact about this Bear: Her name is Nora, her mother rejected her when she was born at the Columbus Zoo (now lives at the Oregon Zoo) so the zoo had to step in and hand-rear her as a baby polar cub. This had only been done a handful of times, with very little success, so it’s a small miracle she’s alive and healthy…

I made this the other night because fuck this guy

The little girl, how much for the little girl?