If it’s a Lumina Euro, I’m all in...

My first car was a 1986 Chevy Celebrity wagon. Why? Because I took it out joyriding and totaled it. My old man bought it back from the insurance company for $400 and told me to fix it if I wanted a car. I asked how, not having a job and all, and his reply was to get a job. I asked how to get to said job, and he asked…

No worries, mate. No offense taken.

According to Wikipedia:

I hope you’re being facetious. Coneys were born and bred in Michigan, my friend. The real discussion is Flint (awesome) vs. Detroit (sloppy mess) style coneys.

“Due to stiff competition, some dealers price their used cars to sell quickly and may only budge a few hundred dollars or not at all.”

If you get a Volvo, you might get a pass from the other Jalops. An XC60 with some Polestar bits would be enough for me.

Is there a FB for Detroit Jalops?

Did somebody say Dirty Burger? I say Mustard Tiger.

That was my go-to after the bar when I lived in MH. Being crammed in front of the order window at 3am with a bunch of other drunks is something all Detroiters should experience.

Hunter House? I’m a Telway guy, myself.

They’ve been owned by two different companies since the Thomas’ sold them.

They’re sofa king good, too.

Halo Burger has them on the menu. Too bad Halo Burger isn’t owned by the Thomas’s any more :(

What I gathered was: Why waste your money on this imperialist opulence when a VAZ-2101 will transport your and your proletariat family just as efficiently?

Vernors and vanilla vodka: Grown-up Boston Cooler.

It’s required for a Boston Cooler. Growing up, Vernors was the first thing my mom (and countless other Michigan moms) gave me when I was sick.

Fiat 500X: Will it depreciate and rust as fast as it’s Chrysler/Dodge brethren?

There’ll be books: His own, and either Mein Kampf or My New Order. Which may or may not have been given to him by Marty Davis. But, it’s OK, because he’s Jewish. Except he’s not.

It looks like a Colorado but, you know, ugly as shit like all other Mercedes’.