Who gives a flying fuck?

Yeah, I think they could put the gray wig on the other guy and be fine

The Zero EP was my jam

I’ve known there was no Santa Claus since I was about four years old, and I asked an otherwise plausible mall Santa (real beard, proper age/build, etc.) for a Whiplash, which was a badass Masters of the Universe action figure.

I don’t even think these authors are expressing their real opinions. They’re just saying whatever they think Twitter idiots will agree with

So I guess the autistic kid is still going to be relegated to awful Family Guy-style background gags

spicy, Earth Mother turn —> spicy Earth Mother turn

well-established by now —> well established by now

No, I don’t think I will

It’s a famous Bill Hicks joke. His was about John Lennon and Milli Vanilli

It’s like my efforts to shame them into improving have all been for naught

I’ll stop when the errors stop

The best baby-related horror tagline will always be:

I know someone who drove for Keanu in the Bogus Journey days. It was just a few times, but she said he was an absolute sweetheart, like an angel from Heaven

He certainly didn’t disappoint anybody by not following the “pretty man in questionable schlock to honored Hollywood hyphenate” trajectory of a Clint or a Clooney, whereas with Phoenix and Ledger it really seemed like that could be in their future.

I just want to remind folks that I know this article is riddled with obvious (and frankly alarming) errors, but I never itemize William Hughes pieces because A) it would be too much work to do for free, and B) it’s not worth having to read the godawful thing itself and try to suss out whatever half-assed point or joke …

special effects-heavy —> special-effects-heavy

it’s hefty price tag —> its hefty price tag

Most of them probably haven’t, since those movies came out before 2003

Dan Savage also thinks you shouldn’t have to tell potential partners you have an STD