I had to google “wine pearls” and now I am annoyed.

I will never, ever get tired of watching this.

THE LITTLE FEET

Yea verily ;)

Any Greg Proops fans in the house?

Ah, good to know. I thought it was a typo and spent several minutes trying to figure out what the original word was.

My friends and I once cleared out an entire firepit at a bar by discussing period shits. We were so proud.

I’m going to try that next time I go to a bar alone and don’t want to be bothered. First the phone, then the tampon.

KIM IS THE GOAT WITH A THOUSAND YOUNG.

My girlfriends and I have an agreement that if my ex gets engaged or married before me, there will be angry drinking and shit talking. Because reasons.

I feel ya. This article made my heart grow three sizes.

Yep. Both me and my friend had a Matt do that to us :)

I knew way too many douchey Matts in HS, I seriously thought the name was cursed.

I have seen the trailer for this way too many times and I want to punch the dude who cockily says “this is going to be a topic of conversation.”

I enjoy practicing my whorship with others.

I love you guys.

Maybe I am an odd person but I love it when people respond to a bouquet toss like someone just threw a dead squirrel on the ground.

Thanks for the warning. Next time I’m at a wedding and that song comes up, I’m sitting my ass down.

LOL if you read it that way it’s EXTRA scandalous :)

Stephen Fry speaking Gaelic makes my heart go pitty-pat.