Somewhere on Deadspin, some unfunny commenter uses an old joke that has been run into the ground.

Phil Kessel is a commemorative ticket lanyard away from being a dad wearing a Phil Kessel jersey.

Phil Kessel looks like a regular guy who accidentally walked into the Pittsburgh locker room before a game while he was on a tour of a cheese factory and just kinda went with it.

So where does Phil Kessel rank on Pro Athletes that Don’t Look Like Pro Athletes? He’s gotta be up in, like, the “fat relief pitcher” percentile.