3. Your trainer tries to make moves on you.

I schedule everything I don't want to do for Nov. 31st.

I like to drink and fornicate for life.

I'm from Bakersfield, too! In fact, I sorta think we went to high school together. Your description is fairly apt.

Jesus Christ, VAB, I wish you'd stick to just talking to yourself in a corner of your room. First you use this incredibly horrible story to talk about how special your feelings are as a mother, then to explain how no one who is not can't possibly feel the depths of your emotions, then when people — most of whom have…

I honestly can't believe you just fake apologized to that commenter on top of everything else. Wait, yeah, I guess I can. I'm sorry *you misread*? Jesus, when about a dozen people come tell you in various polite and no-nonsense ways that you're just plain fucking wrong and hurtful, can it permeate your tiny brain that…

Exhausting. Exactly.

Oh fuck off, it is absolutely NOT a feeling a nonparent can't understand. Just because your world didn't include that feeling before you had your own snowflake, it doesn't mean the rest of us don't get it. Some non parents have been raising kids since they were kids. There are more experiences in the world than the…

No, actually. If you'd stuck to "I" statements you wouldn't have been attacked at all. Instead, you decided that since you felt a certain way before parenthood, all the other non-parents out there couldn't possibly be feeling a different way. As one commenter tried patiently to explain to you, our responses are out of…

Almost? Have you ever actually lost a child? Then guess what, you don't feel it more profoundly than the non parents. Go back to your tiny narrow experience and quit describing it as though it describes every other person's on earth.

Gee NO ONE WHO HASNT GIVEN BIRTH HAS EVER FELT THAT WAY. THANK YOU FOR DESCRIBING IT TO US.

I didn't miss the part where you decided that your response is deeper than mine is. My guess is you've never been to a kid's funeral in your life, let alone held a kid's hand in the hospital or heard a kid cough until she couldn't breathe. So. fucking. arrogant. Yeah. I said "awful" then shrugged it off like the…

Right, the rest of us never feel terrified for the safety of children or other vulnerable people we know. You know what? Stop slamming *us* instead of worrying about how we're slamming her. I don't have kids but I've watched children in my family die. Guess how "you can't understand unless you're a precious parent"…

You mean once YOU do. Quit speaking for the rest of us. You pretty much owe everyone an apology.

I can't believe you Mommyjacked this. But since you did, here's a piece of my mind:

So what are they called? Where do we get them?

True story: I was at a party decades ago when the host started doing this as an underhanded joke. Not everyone picked up on it but I was dying laughing. He'd say stuff like, "Aren't those flowers sweet?" then when someone asked him why he was talking about them he'd say, "I don't know, I just think those colors are so…

It's Sight! Futuristic Dating Video

LAO at the idea of man-made software that supposedly gauges a woman's interest. Which self-described "expert" would create that algorithm? The phrase "garbage in, garbage out" has never been more appropriate.

Hey. Wait. Rip-off. Where's our Cosmo sex tip party? C'mon Laurasaurus fans — let's do a proper Cosmo send off with a cavalcade of hot sexy sex tips!