I know one guy who will be thrilled by this news.

You have serious "ring aversion"

Hey! Goop may be aspirational, but it’s aspirational like these pajamas that cost $295

I wouldn't eat anything he handed me either. He's always got pee on his hands.

Always back the horse named self-interest, son. It’ll be the only one trying.

You should have thought of that when deciding whether to make shitty music or educate yourself. /s

Maybe this can penetrate the racist conservative fucking racist mindset. Don’t care about the lives of anyone who doesn’t look just like you? It’s gonna cost you money, assholes. Help us change policing to save your wallet if you can’t bring yourself to do it out of basic humanity.

Take it from the Police fucking pension fund.

really brave of them to let all of those dangerous children go

Yep. Celebrity gossip is far more interesting than an interplanetary probe travelling 36,000 mph, taking high resolution images of a planet 3 billion miles away.

Just in time to tie in my new single, Don’t Make Eye Contact.

I am currently experiencing overwhelming amounts of secondhand cringe

The greatest threat to the American government, is Americans. Not Iranians, not Russians etc. Americans.

Rats: “Hey, look, we’re real sorry about that whole plague thing. We’ll find some mines for you, okay? We cool? No more traps?”

The Original and still classic.

are you dating an NBA player? If not, pretty sure you should break up with any man who wears basketball shorts

Mr R has been calling him a Trumpback Whale because of the blowhole and the hairy head and the way humpbacks surface and start slapping at the water like kids throwing a tantrum. But the word “hump” is making me queasy in this context.

Planet Hollywood jacket over Ed Hardy t-shirt, it's like a Russian nesting doll of sadness.

It’s like Stephan curated BCO