I’m so sorry. My own mother has a horrible memory, is a huge fucking liar, and rewrites history so she won’t feel horrible about the things she has done. She is thin-skinned and perceives every comment as a criticism so she’s always defensive. 

Shortly after it was clear he was going to win the election, I posted on FB that the people who died this year were extremely lucky. I later deleted it because my moronic family members would never put two and two together and realize I was talking the election and would think I was suicidal.

I think you’re overestimating my abilities, but I kind of understand what you’re describing.

I don’t have anything to say that hasn’t already been said, but over the years I’ve isolated myself so much that I have two close friends and that’s it. My family is celebrating Christmas without me this year and it’s never occurred to them how that would make me feel. I have zero self-worth and I have a hard time…

Beautiful!

Can anyone recommend any knitting or crocheting kits? I haven’t done either but I’d love to learn.

Where did you get that? I learned to cross-stitch years ago but I haven’t done anything in ages. I was actually looking to make cross-stitch ornaments but I’m used to buying kits where everything is provided.

I have a suicidal angel who keeps trying to jump so I feel you.

Long before.

Ha! Right?

It was not recent at all. This was the early 2000s.

You should pass the secrets to me as I’m also an outsider and I’ve never told anyone that my best friend once turned down Neil Patrick Harris in a bar because I’m SUCH a good friend.

What show was she in? Les Mis as the 879th Young Cosette/Young Eponine/Gavroche cover?

This is priceless.

I typed one slice but I really meant three.

Does anyone get any pro-liberal/anti-Assholes emails forwarded to them? Do liberals even take the time to write an intended chain email? For eight years I got forwarded emails from older family members filled with ridiculous racist jokes and supposed REAL STORIES about Hillary and Obama that two seconds on Google…

Nope. It’s Little Caesars. I read the same article on FB, Twitter, AND a forwarded email written in LARGE TYPE so you have to believe it.

Little Caesars.

I haven’t had Pizza Hut in over a decade and I’d love to have just one slice so I could remember how much it gloriously sucked.

What (imaginary) wrongs did Netflix and GrubHub do?