Thank you for this, I am genuinely laughing so hard I’m having trouble breathing. Truly amazing.

EDIT: here’s an album with a few choice beauty shots. Her name is Bessie, for the record, and she’s perfection incarnate.

Happy to oblige. Forgot to mention: my Pop-Pop dubbed her Bessie, and she is my beautiful perfect girl.

Alright, buckle up for a Shakespearean epic that I promise will be worth your while.

We were out to dinner with my father in-law. He told the waitress his order, then pointed at my 12 year old son and said “and he’ll have a shit sandwich”.