The headphones that are being worn all around our office. Lifehacker said:

The headphones that are being worn all around our office. Lifehacker said:

I think you wrote this article just so you could say, "I'm a PMP." Well played, Alan, well played.

"Hmm.. the special of the day is a B.L.T., you say? That sounds pretty good. Reminds me, my father always used to make a B.L.T. sandwich for lunch. I can still picture him standing over the sink in the kitchen eating one. If my father is somehow the one in the kitchen cooking these sandwiches YOU TELL THAT SON OF…

I wouldn't mind a burger with blue cheese on it, but I have no idea how much to put on there. PLEASE, DO IT FOR ME, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST PUT ON THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF BLUE CHEESE THAT I LIKE ON MY BURGER OH GOD I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD!!

The "right" category.

Which category am I in if I simply think video games are more fun than work?

Great, my GPU is already more powerful than my CPU, now my mouse too?

Great, my GPU is already more powerful than my CPU, now my mouse too?

I like this way, because it's rude.

taskkill /F /IM chrome.exe /T

HOLY SHIT YOU WORK ABOUT 13,000 HOURS A WEEK?!

Yeah, like a billion of 'em. In fact, there are almost as many people using Facebook as there are people making literally, word-for-word, this exact same joke every time someone writes an article about Facebook.

I generally find that the "friendzone" is a cop-out folks (both male and female) who cannot figure out how to generate interest between themselves and their desired partner fall back on to explain their failures.

No one owes you a damned thing

Solid dating advice from a happily married geek:

The "information super highway"... really? 1997 called.

Add Will Ferrell as a competing southern ex-NFL coach and I'd watch an entire movie of that.

What Gawker commentary now looks like.