nope, blame your mohel

When I was 19 a cop pulled me over for not having updated tags. The tags were in my glove box, I was just 19 and an idiot an hadn’t put them on yet. My friend and I were all dressed up to go out - mini dresses, heels, etc. The cop made me get out of my car at night on the freeway shoulder, squat down, and put the tags…

“Barack! If you don’t stop smoking in the house, I will CHOKE. YOU. OUT.”

I admit I had to look up Helene Fischer. Wow. To make this list just off the German, Austrian and Swiss market is damn impressive while the others are all North American acts that sell globally - and have done for years. (It’s also surprising that no Spanish language acts made the list, considering how much larger…

I figured Helene Fischer was the legal name of someone famous under a stage name, like, “Helene Fischer, aka Halsey”, but, no, Helene Fischer is just a Russian pop princess.

And what’s wrong with you that you aren’t President? Or First Lady/Husband?

Thank you for sharing a personal moment and for a great article

Clearly it isn’t decorative; it’s the hole that the human inside urinates through.. You can’t expect the dude to completely undress just to take a leak, he just guides the belly back toward himself, tugs his dick through, and pees.

And why are there two different colors/styles? If I’m swapping that costume between…

“Umm....Can I....can I fuck it?”

I think the bigger issue is that the massive diversity of culture everywhere is expected to take a backseat to Rich America.

“The birds are fed in such a way to increase their weight,” Norton, who has worked at Mount Vernon since 1969, said. “[Americans] want a nice big breasted turkey and so they are fed high protein diet and they get quite large. The organs, though, that are in this bird are meant for a smaller bird. They just can’t…

I love me some mid-west comfort food but daaaamn, this shit must be a walking heart attack! Ill stick to my queso covered fried chicken and waffles thank you very much!

Congratulations on submitting the first recipe in this recent Midwest Gallery of Culinary Horror that actually is food and sounds delicious. 

The angle is so hypocritical too. Gwen messed up ages ago, yet Nicki Minaj came out with Chun Li just recently and she and her ridiculous excuse for a “beef” with fellow choir girl Cardi B are everything right now on this site.

Why the fuck would you put the turkeys in a hotel rooms? Turkey don’t want to be in a hotel they want to peck around some grass and find some bugs. I hate everything about him. 

oh my god, those poor hotel staff. 

I agree with this. People have to be able to come back from mistakes unless it involves violent crimes. And even then some people have turned their lives around.

Ah yes, some women just can’t make mistakes on Jezebel, while some can just keep making them repeatedly and stay in the headlines.

To what? Using Japanese girls as props?

So, basically, we’re supposed to slit our wrists for the holidays?