Well just stop looking at people toes and you are going to be ok.

Should we be arresting people who like feet? That’s not in the Bible anywhere.

“Seriously, does this mean we’ll be allowed to marry horses? This is important for someone who is not me.”

I’ll do it outside on the driveway. For safety.

Nailed it.

Did no one else’s household have assigned spots on the towel racks? Our house had 3 towel racks in the bathroom. Mom and Dad each got their own, my sister and I split the third one. Her towel went on the left, my towel went on the right. Always. How is this a problem for literally anyone?

My favorite part about this is that she took the effort to trademark the term “That’s my towel.”

Even Darth Vader Dick Cheney had to put his Halliburton options in a trust. Now all these Trump fucks are running businesses out of the West Wing. Cheney must be furious thinking of all the money he could have made had he known the rules were so flexible.

But also, like, how does the charm prevent one from needing to wash the towels? When it comes to doing laundry, why does it fucking matter whose towel is whose? Do people really steal other people’s beach towels? Is this intended for, like, houses with many roommates, each with their own towel? Because that is not a…

It seem like the gift you get from your mother-in-law.

The hell is this nonsense? And, knowing me, I’d scratch my cornea with the charm after blearily groping for it after a face wash.

I would have loved seeing Mike and Mother pitch this on Shark Tank.

I’m imagining lace made with cigarette burns RN and I feel a stinky art project coming on...

I designed a charm holder that goes through a towel

If you can’t remember which towel is yours, remembering which charm you picked is probably gonna be a problem too...just sayin’. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nothing quite as refreshing when stepping out of the shower as getting whipped in the face with a tiny metal bride figurine while trying to dry my hair.

“You people made me give up my fucking peanut farm” - Jimmy Carter

I understand that rules and laws no longer have any meaning in the Trump administration, but isn’t this kinda, sorta, a violation of the emoluments clause?

It’s a towel. If it smells clean, it’s fine.

We have an over the door hook in the bedroom. My husband hangs his towel on the same hook every day, and I do the same. We have literally never been confused about whose towel is whose. Washing your towel every day is an activity only someone whose husband won’t touch them without all the lights off during their…