At least it didn’t ruin his hair.

Mind blown on the update. (A) He made these comments before a jury of 11 women and 3 men. But today (B) they found him not guilty. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

Holy shit balls! I saw this on another site earlier where they only relayed the lying weaker sex part. Which of course was bad enough, but the rest?!

Fuck this guy I just can’t with this shit. Where’s that fuck this fuck that cat gif when I need it

I have voiced my disapproval of Sessions repeatedly. We as a country must oppose his racist, anti-Constitutional, and brutal policies.

without “harmful federal intrusion.”

He looks like a fleshy racist Cabbage Patch Kid.

He is such a giddy racist. When Sessions was discussing illegal immigration and prayed to God oh boy he was so happy couldn’t stand still like a 5 year old boy who needs to go to the restroom. Watch it and you will see what I’m saying.

I’m so happy that someone else thinks that. When Trump nominated that moldy walnut as his AG, it nearly broke me.

And that’s saying a lot.

Jeff Sessions is basically the only thing that Breitbart readers are happy about from the Trump administration. That should tell you how bad he is.

Jefferson Bureaugard Sessions III is worse than Betsy DeVos.

Of course, if police departments say “Our city is safer if people feel like they can interact with us without fear of being deported,” fuck that, right?

There’s so much to unpack here. Have you noticed that it’s harmful federal intrusion when trying to protect civil right but if a state legalizes pot that state is over stepping?

The guy running the EPA doesn’t believe in threats to the environment. The woman in charge of the DoE doesn’t believe in public education. The guy in charge of HUD thinks public housing is a problem. The woman running the Civil Rights Office believes racism affects all skin colors in the same way.

I have had orange crème flavored peeps and they are delicious. I haven’t seen them this year. I am going to share with you a peep centered cocktail we made a while back. Dump a can of mandarin oranges, juice and all, into a blender. Add the desired drunky amount of gin plus ice and blend. In the meantime, position an…

That is the most fucking Candice sounding complaint if I ever heard one.

Wonder if Choate alumna Ivanka Trump will make a statement about this horrifying news.

Oh my god: an observant reader tells me I’ve also forgotten dinosaurs. Shit. Fuck. I would rank them between Twin Snakes and Raspberries. I am SO sorry for yet another unacceptable omission.

Excuse me where is FRUIT SALAD? The clear winner!